In an amazing summarization of his thoughts and notes, today's Oswald Chambers reading is so relevant to my own life. Although I struggle with many aspects of the Christian walk, the idea of disillusionment is a place that the Lord has truly blessed me.
In that often untraceable way that God uses, somewhere I became able to look at the world expecting nothing from people. Understanding the results of our sin nature and the repercussions throughout humanity from the first fall, a life lived without contant expectations is a life lived in freedom. There are obviously times when we are caught up in it all, and marriage is a dangerous playground for these unbalanced expectations. Preconceived notions about what he or she should be like often cause heartache. The ability of two people to love one another without expectation seems to be a difficult undertaking. Both parties are likely often willing, but without practice and communication, finding moments of mutual disillusionment is a difficult thing.
What an awesome prayer. Lord that I may have freedom to live without expectations, love deeply in an unconditional way, and that my love might prompt focused prayer for my heart and the hearts of those around me for guided change...
Monday, July 30, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Right Being....
The only thing that exceeds right-doing is right-being.
~Oswald Chambers
This truth must be one of the harder concepts to swallow as a human being. Our sense of worth is so closely tied to the opinions of others that we naturally strain towards a life of right-doing. Is it possible to measure right-being in a human? If character is who we are when no one is looking, then our inner-most motivations, our truest indicator of our willingness to sacrifice is invisible to the world at its root level. The idea that I must continually strive, continually die to myself, continually put myself aside only to have a changed inner heart- and not the respect, praise and adoration of the world is a difficult idea-half the time...
There are moments when this inner purity and peace are the only things that seem worth chasing, and I must learn to recognize what allows these moments to happen. When I have truly let Christ into my being, his tendencies will seem the most natural thing in the world-if I haven't conciously given up myself, I will fit in much better to society and continue to wonder what character really looks like.
~Oswald Chambers
This truth must be one of the harder concepts to swallow as a human being. Our sense of worth is so closely tied to the opinions of others that we naturally strain towards a life of right-doing. Is it possible to measure right-being in a human? If character is who we are when no one is looking, then our inner-most motivations, our truest indicator of our willingness to sacrifice is invisible to the world at its root level. The idea that I must continually strive, continually die to myself, continually put myself aside only to have a changed inner heart- and not the respect, praise and adoration of the world is a difficult idea-half the time...
There are moments when this inner purity and peace are the only things that seem worth chasing, and I must learn to recognize what allows these moments to happen. When I have truly let Christ into my being, his tendencies will seem the most natural thing in the world-if I haven't conciously given up myself, I will fit in much better to society and continue to wonder what character really looks like.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Scars
24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. ~Hebrews 10: 24-25
When I was in college, the teachings of one of my religion professors dramatically affected all of our lives through his disdain of "happy Christians." As the son of his families only Holocaust survivors, he had heard his entire life about how hard and unfair this world can be. Many times I walked out of his classroom feeling that I really didn't understand what it was to be a Christian. In fact, I think that his teaching really helped me change my definition of spiritual maturity.
Without fire, it is impossible to temper a piece of iron. I know that it is probably possible to have a good understanding of Christ without experiencing trials, but if we are truly seeking out relationships with the hurting and lonely, there is no way to make it through life without scars.
I'm going to have scars. My small group and my Christian friends have such a magical way of reflecting the glory realized in sacrifice. Thank you guys.
When I was in college, the teachings of one of my religion professors dramatically affected all of our lives through his disdain of "happy Christians." As the son of his families only Holocaust survivors, he had heard his entire life about how hard and unfair this world can be. Many times I walked out of his classroom feeling that I really didn't understand what it was to be a Christian. In fact, I think that his teaching really helped me change my definition of spiritual maturity.
Without fire, it is impossible to temper a piece of iron. I know that it is probably possible to have a good understanding of Christ without experiencing trials, but if we are truly seeking out relationships with the hurting and lonely, there is no way to make it through life without scars.
I'm going to have scars. My small group and my Christian friends have such a magical way of reflecting the glory realized in sacrifice. Thank you guys.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Loving What God Loves...
"My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart..."
~Proverbs 3:1
Some of the memories of my Christian walk seem tainted by moments of self-loathing after I had slipped into a time of self-centered personal gratification. I think we all have times when we are disapointed and Satan somehow magnifies the gulf that exists between Our Lord and ourselves.
Trying to understand God--really attempting to empathize with Him has been a powerful experience for me. I have seen my hunger for the Word increase, my attraction to sin decrease and my victory over addictive behavior wane.
As a man, the hardest thing about desiring God's heart is the disturbing nakedness that results as the relationship grows. Everything in my flesh tells me that I'm good enough, that the rest of the world should just accept me for who I am... but deep in my heart, I long to be that man that the Lord looks upon as one worthy of showcasing. As communion with the Lord grows deeper, vulnerabilities and gaps in my faith life seem ever larger. In the end, I am comforted by the knowledge that I am not the first:
This experience of our attention being directed to our concentration of personal sin is true in everyone’s life, from the greatest of saints to the worst of sinners. When a person first begins climbing the ladder of experience, he might say, "I don’t know where I’ve gone wrong," but the Spirit of God will point out some definite and specific thing to him. The effect of Isaiah’s vision of the holiness of the Lord was the directing of his attention to the fact that he was "a man of unclean lips." "He touched my mouth with it, and said: ’Behold, this has touched your lips; your iniquity is taken away, and your sin purged’ " ( Isaiah 6:7 ). The cleansing fire had to be applied where the sin had been concentrated.
~Oswald Chambers
Amen.
but keep my commands in your heart..."
~Proverbs 3:1
Some of the memories of my Christian walk seem tainted by moments of self-loathing after I had slipped into a time of self-centered personal gratification. I think we all have times when we are disapointed and Satan somehow magnifies the gulf that exists between Our Lord and ourselves.
Trying to understand God--really attempting to empathize with Him has been a powerful experience for me. I have seen my hunger for the Word increase, my attraction to sin decrease and my victory over addictive behavior wane.
As a man, the hardest thing about desiring God's heart is the disturbing nakedness that results as the relationship grows. Everything in my flesh tells me that I'm good enough, that the rest of the world should just accept me for who I am... but deep in my heart, I long to be that man that the Lord looks upon as one worthy of showcasing. As communion with the Lord grows deeper, vulnerabilities and gaps in my faith life seem ever larger. In the end, I am comforted by the knowledge that I am not the first:
This experience of our attention being directed to our concentration of personal sin is true in everyone’s life, from the greatest of saints to the worst of sinners. When a person first begins climbing the ladder of experience, he might say, "I don’t know where I’ve gone wrong," but the Spirit of God will point out some definite and specific thing to him. The effect of Isaiah’s vision of the holiness of the Lord was the directing of his attention to the fact that he was "a man of unclean lips." "He touched my mouth with it, and said: ’Behold, this has touched your lips; your iniquity is taken away, and your sin purged’ " ( Isaiah 6:7 ). The cleansing fire had to be applied where the sin had been concentrated.
~Oswald Chambers
Amen.
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