"Morality does not happen by accident; moral virtue is acquired...
...Holiness is the balance between my nature and the law of God as expressed in Jesus Christ."
~Oswald Chambers
The idea of our lives as a battleground is easily related to, but for some reason my mind seems to cling to the chance of Christ's grace removing some of the labor from my life. Contrary to some popular preaching, I need to remember I grow closer to Christ and holiness through my willingness to apply labor.
Having Christ doesn't mean an end to striving, groaning, and scratching to survive in this world. I can be assured, however that my efforts in Christ have guaranteed fruitfulness. In pursuit of Christ, my groaning can instantly become a labor of love fostered out of respect, adoration, and a desire to be a living sacrifice... May it be.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Questions...
List five contemporary activities that would be comparable to foot washing
"...Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." ~John 13:8
"I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him." ~John 13: 15 - 16
When I think of foot washing and especially of the way our Lord used the ceremony to summarize His entire ministry, I am in awe of the person who is and was Jesus Christ as man. Christ used the washing at the end of His physical time with the disciples--men whom our Lord poured Himself into; teaching, chastising, forming and mentoring the men into s founders of Christianity. All my thoughts seem so small and petty in comparison with such a poignant representation of the Savior's life. Even so, times when our greatest leaders place themselves as true servants of their respective flocks.
"...Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." ~John 13:8
"I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him." ~John 13: 15 - 16
When I think of foot washing and especially of the way our Lord used the ceremony to summarize His entire ministry, I am in awe of the person who is and was Jesus Christ as man. Christ used the washing at the end of His physical time with the disciples--men whom our Lord poured Himself into; teaching, chastising, forming and mentoring the men into s founders of Christianity. All my thoughts seem so small and petty in comparison with such a poignant representation of the Savior's life. Even so, times when our greatest leaders place themselves as true servants of their respective flocks.
- A CEO who stops in the parking lot to help an employee change a flat tire
- A husband or wife who spends his/her last years on Earth feeding, changing diapers for, and bathing his/her spouse
- A person who gives up a great job/opportunity to spend time with his/her child(ren)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Creative Tension and other Marital Traits
My wife and I launched into another discussion destined to end with a mutual understanding of the impossibility of empathetic understanding between males and females. I was particularly intrigued by the direction of thought. Both my wife and I married later in life, and as such, both participated in intense relationships prior to our marriage. Neither she nor I would have qualified as a "typical" romantic interest of the other, but having been married five years, we can decidedly say the Lord orchestrates relationships with much more substance than we would left to our own.
The conversation continued on, covering many of the same topics usually rehashed during the progression to realness following a drought of meaningful dialogue. Conversation turned to sources of passion within a relationship and the Lord triggered a thought in my egg-shaped head. If our passions are fueled by longings for the material happiness so tantalizingly presented by Hollywood, we are destined to limit our true understanding of passion. Falling into the trap of defining needs, wants and success by the boundaries of a fallen society will always leave us wanting more and doubting our abilities.
If I want for passion in my marriage, I must introspectively determine where I am getting my definition of passion. I'll go out on a limb and state my confidence in the following idea:
A couple living life sold-out, all in, unashamedly chasing Christ as the centerpiece of their marriage will never want for passion--not a fleshly passion, but the kind of passion that draws us out of ourselves, into the comfort and exhilaration of living a life outside of our control. Seems like real passion comes from living a life constantly chafing against the grain of society, definitions of success, and humanistic expectations so frequently used as points of reference. There is nothing like societal rejection to bring two lonely souls together with a shared common bond. Fortunately, Christ shared this same rejection.
Find passion fueled by recognition and hatred of the selfish fires driving society toward destruction, but long for the eternal company of the souls destined for destruction. What a splendid dichotomy to have modeled out in the life of our Savior. No wonder people listened to him...
The conversation continued on, covering many of the same topics usually rehashed during the progression to realness following a drought of meaningful dialogue. Conversation turned to sources of passion within a relationship and the Lord triggered a thought in my egg-shaped head. If our passions are fueled by longings for the material happiness so tantalizingly presented by Hollywood, we are destined to limit our true understanding of passion. Falling into the trap of defining needs, wants and success by the boundaries of a fallen society will always leave us wanting more and doubting our abilities.
If I want for passion in my marriage, I must introspectively determine where I am getting my definition of passion. I'll go out on a limb and state my confidence in the following idea:
A couple living life sold-out, all in, unashamedly chasing Christ as the centerpiece of their marriage will never want for passion--not a fleshly passion, but the kind of passion that draws us out of ourselves, into the comfort and exhilaration of living a life outside of our control. Seems like real passion comes from living a life constantly chafing against the grain of society, definitions of success, and humanistic expectations so frequently used as points of reference. There is nothing like societal rejection to bring two lonely souls together with a shared common bond. Fortunately, Christ shared this same rejection.
Find passion fueled by recognition and hatred of the selfish fires driving society toward destruction, but long for the eternal company of the souls destined for destruction. What a splendid dichotomy to have modeled out in the life of our Savior. No wonder people listened to him...
Friday, August 1, 2008
Fearing Transition
"If you stayed home when God told you to go because you were so concerned about your own people there, then you actually robbed them of the teaching of Jesus Christ Himself."
~Oswald Chambers
~Oswald Chambers
As Christians, many of us walk through life constantly worried we are missing the mark. My biggest fear is to look back from Heaven at the end of my time and cry in recognition of opportunities wasted from allegiance to my human intellect. Intuitively, I know my flesh prevents opportunities ranging from people I should have met, to places and situations I should have stepped away from.
So often, I am making excuses against transition because I am not prepared to trust that God can fill in the gaps... How many times have I said to myself, "Lord, I can't leave right now... these people need me to finish this..." How much credit am I giving the Creator of the universe when I ask Him to hold off on His plans until I'm good and ready. My pride amazes me every time I get a new look at it.
What will it take for me to regain the ability to step out on faith--and take my family with me? In my heart I know I'm giving entirely too much human consideration to my decision making process. Follow me. Is it really that simple?
Friday, July 11, 2008
Restoring Gently
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load."
~Galatians 6: 1-5
~Galatians 6: 1-5
As humans, we see to have such a propensity for excitement and drama. My wife will no longer watch anything but reality shows on television in a quest to view only "real" interpersonal interactions. Many of us regularly seek out group excitement whether it be through sporting events, parties, or charismatic experiences. It seems we almost have a built-in desire to be extreme in some way.
Gentleness, explained by some as "...great strength under control," is such an admirable trait in people. Following the intense excitement and unrestrained exclamations of an important sporting event, we are sobered when watching the losing coach react with a gentle hug and encouragement in lieu of an animated temper tantrum. What is it about humans that makes us so ready to respond so quickly with righteous indignation? In a world so confusing, we long to understand a situation or someone's actions well enough to conjure authoritative commentary on the situation. Much too often, this commentary is only an excuse to be remembered for our insight or knowledge...
What must happen for our reactions to become responses? How must we live so our responses are reflections of God's gentle, but firm and just nature? Who do we have the right to gently restore? There are so many wonderful lessons in this short passage. Do we know without a doubt which of our friends and acquaintances are fellow believers and which are not? The simple quest of knowing and being known well enough for this foundation to guide my interactions is a great start for me. I haven't spent enough time trying to find out the spiritual health of my peers to be of any use in spiritual counseling or gentle restoration.
Lord that I would form relationships based on reference to You and Your presence in the lives of those around me.
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Source of Unpredictability?
"Sin has made the foundation of our thinking unpredictable, uncontrollable, and irrational."
~Oswald Chambers
~Oswald Chambers
Such a simple truth to remember and focus our efforts. In studying life and the world around us: every human frailty, every broken heart, every mourning moment for a loved one lost, we're challenged to explain all these things through one simple word.
Understanding root cause is an efficient process for solving repeating problems. Seldom is the process as simple as observing sin's effect in our lives. Why do we not hate sin always? Oswald speaks a very profound truth. At the core, our thinking and reasoning is flawed. No matter our IQ, pedigree, alma mater, or occupation, we will always struggle to recognize sin's effect on our personal worldview. Although we closely inspect our exterior in the mirror, our colored glasses filter out glaring patches of sin occurring in the most obvious of locations.
When we watch a married man or woman in adultery vehemently defend his or her actions, we begin to gain an understanding of how greatly sin can redirect our actions and thoughts. Reading the news of a suicide bomber giving his or her life in hopes of martyrdom should wrench our hearts. Why do we not hate sin. Hate it. Why do we see the effects everyday, and knowingly harbor areas we haven't given up?
Lord help me to remember your pain, your plan, and my sin.
Friday, June 13, 2008
How Quickly We Fall
Yesterday-
After beginning my day with a meditation on the perils of pride, I must say I was disgusted to exhibit the very vice I prayed to avoid. The processes of hiring and review in modern business bring about a bit of a conundrum... The writing of a resume and subsequent interview process is rife with opportunities for self-proclamation.
On thoughts of an impending review, I found myself more than ready to drag another friend down and emphasize my own importance in a conversation with a peer. Knowing this particular peer would be part of my yearly review process, I unflinchingly pursued an opportunity to level the playing field.
My methodology may have veiled the removal of credit from my friend as I argued for shared successes among leadership, but my heart's desire was not for team celebration... I guess I'm encouraged by how cut I was by realization of the sin, but still frustrated to see in myself such a ready embrace of the most serious human pitfall.
I believe I must confess this to my friend.
After beginning my day with a meditation on the perils of pride, I must say I was disgusted to exhibit the very vice I prayed to avoid. The processes of hiring and review in modern business bring about a bit of a conundrum... The writing of a resume and subsequent interview process is rife with opportunities for self-proclamation.
On thoughts of an impending review, I found myself more than ready to drag another friend down and emphasize my own importance in a conversation with a peer. Knowing this particular peer would be part of my yearly review process, I unflinchingly pursued an opportunity to level the playing field.
My methodology may have veiled the removal of credit from my friend as I argued for shared successes among leadership, but my heart's desire was not for team celebration... I guess I'm encouraged by how cut I was by realization of the sin, but still frustrated to see in myself such a ready embrace of the most serious human pitfall.
I believe I must confess this to my friend.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
To Be a Saint...
"For you to say, "Oh, I’m no saint," is acceptable by human standards of pride, but it is unconscious blasphemy against God."
~Oswald Chambers
~Oswald Chambers
I wonder if maintaining the balance between proclaimed humility and an appearance of false sincerity should even be a balance in my mind? I have a friend who rarely misses an opportunity to proclaim: "I've never done anything good by myself in my life..." I'm ready with a phrase to let folks know, "I'm more blessed than I deserve..." Are the two really that different?
False modesty seems a self-presentation with an amazing ability to turn others off, and perhaps worse, cause questioning of one's true intentions. It does seem, however, that the heart of my friend comes through each and every time he foreshadows a story of his dependence on Christ. An opportunity to speak of the ultimate humility of God, is an opportunity to speak the salvation story to someone.
"8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!"
~Philippians 2: 8
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!"
~Philippians 2: 8
"5 Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,
the One who sits enthroned on high,
6 who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?"
~Psalm 113: 5 - 6
What is my mindset in the times I quickly proclaim my blessing? If I'm honest, all too often I'm speaking a reflection of my self-reliance and pride.
Lord that I might have in mind the way your story of humility has given me the ultimate unearned reward. I pray my heart would understand and savor the gift of salvation and my actions each and every day would reflect thankfulness and a sincere appreciation of what it is to be called a 'saint.'
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Rising to the Occasion
"You did not do anything to achieve your salvation, but you must do something to exhibit it."
~Oswald Chambers
~Oswald Chambers
Having spent many years as an athlete, the idea of rising to the occasion is not unfamiliar. So many times I entered the arena knowing victory was mine... unless I chose to give it away. Mental remittance to the possibility of failure is part of every person's internal dialog, but only necessary in situations outside the simpler plan of God's will for our lives. Being a state champion at whatever is commendable, but in my experience, I'm called much more often (and powerfully) to diligence in prayer, empathy for the poor and outcast, and compassion for the lost.... Whether I act on these callings swiftly enough is another subject...
Unfortunately, I think many of us, myself included, devote more time, more internal coaching, and more effort in "rising to the occasion" for those selfish, fleshly goals--the goals where victory is not guaranteed.
Lord, that I may rise to the occasion of diligently living a life of focus. Please help me to channel my energies in the direction of guaranteed victory-in the direction of Your will. Father, please help me to revel in opportunities to suffer like your saint, Paul-please help me to know my life's struggles are part of the good fight.
Monday, May 5, 2008
What a Hiatus...
Funny how quiet times morph from day to day... I hadn't realized how much I missed the process of thinking through my thoughts enough to type them out. Writing things down has such a finality to it. Its as if we say, "Ok, I'm done with this thought... here it is... I've forgone the ability to continually edit this opinion in my head depending upon who I'm talking to...."
I think this must be the beauty of the written word-perhaps this drives our respect for the writings of the greats-the reason why the Bible is such an amazing book... You know its go-time when the Lord says, "Here it is boys and girls... written down for you to study, critique, pray about, and validate." I guess when God lays it down, we shouldn't be surprised when prophesies of scripture are proven true time and time again... and the magical simplicity comprising the story of the cross is played out in our lives time and time again.
Although I've felt it before, I'm still in awe at how the Lord can completely shift the world around us-the fabric of peoples' lives completely redirected-and we still try to act as if nothing is happening. Sometimes it feels as if part of the fall is our inability to capture, savor and apply the realization that God is great, awesome, constantly exerting influence in our lives and the lives of those who've been interceded for.
Why is it so easy to forget?
I think this must be the beauty of the written word-perhaps this drives our respect for the writings of the greats-the reason why the Bible is such an amazing book... You know its go-time when the Lord says, "Here it is boys and girls... written down for you to study, critique, pray about, and validate." I guess when God lays it down, we shouldn't be surprised when prophesies of scripture are proven true time and time again... and the magical simplicity comprising the story of the cross is played out in our lives time and time again.
Although I've felt it before, I'm still in awe at how the Lord can completely shift the world around us-the fabric of peoples' lives completely redirected-and we still try to act as if nothing is happening. Sometimes it feels as if part of the fall is our inability to capture, savor and apply the realization that God is great, awesome, constantly exerting influence in our lives and the lives of those who've been interceded for.
Why is it so easy to forget?
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Enjoying Children
"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
~Matthew 18: 6
~Matthew 18: 6
Yesterday, I enjoyed my fifth Easter Egg hunt of the year with my daughter and wife. What a blast. Kids all over the place, and not a hidden motive among them. If they were pushing each other out of the way, it was easy to see some simply didn't have an altruistic thought in their little heads. Our daughter definitely struggles (like most three-year-olds) with the idea of giving someone else the last egg.
One of my wife's friends attended the event with her two little boys. Although one boy was stroller-bound, the other was off to the races. Once the egg hunt started, the mother was torn between staying with the stroller, or redirecting her toddler as he attempted to climb the tree in the middle of the egg-hunt area. I stayed with the stroller as she ran off to pull junior from the base of the tree.
As I dropped to face-level with the little man in the stroller, I could see his wonder at who had entered his world. I wasn't dad, and I certainly wasn't mommy with a hat on.... He was beautiful. As we quickly forged a friendship through unintelligible words and tickles, I was taken aback by how easy it was to love the little rascal. The best part was, all he wanted was to be loved. I didn't have to know the right words, the right actions, or even his favorite colors-I just needed to look at him transparently enough for him to understand I meant him no harm and only wished his happiness. How does an infant understand this?
It just goes to show how simply love is expressed when we start from a position of transparency. In approaching a child, we truly lose all inhibition and self-consciousness and offer whatever our heart harbors without reservation. Knowing our society, this also has terrible implications, but helps us understand Christ's words when he says, "...unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
In the presence of children, we are terribly vulnerable. Whatever our heart harbors comes frightfully close to the surface. Humanity's best and worst actions are played out through our interactions with "...the little ones..."
What a great place to check my motives and the state of my heart. Lord, thank you so much for children and an understanding of how you see us. I pray I would love more transparently.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Understanding Discipleship
"Am I willing to be of no value to this age or this life except for one purpose and one alone— to be used to disciple men and women to the Lord Jesus Christ?"
~Oswald Chambers
~Oswald Chambers
God has been working the ideas of discipleship into my thoughts quite steadily over the last several weeks.... A men's group studying "The Great Omission," renewed passion about service in Young Life-a ministry with a discipleship model, and relationship articles talking about the need for discipleship in one's marriage.
How do I answer the question posed by Oswald above? I'm not there... I would like to be able to say my daily actions were only supporting the idea of discipling men and women, but I'm afraid I am working alone too much for this to be effective. As a teacher by training, I really have no excuse for not making discipleship a more intentional part of my witness.
As with all things in my walk, I can be confident the easiest way for me to be a better and more effective witness is to be more consistent in my daily commitment and communication to Christ. It is so easy to fall into the fallacy of me doing more, or being more effective at any one of a thousand good things. How good can I be at the most important thing...consistently and completely submit my life to Christ and then get out of the way! I'm slowly learning that I might be good at some things, but God desires my service much more than my advice on how to do something.
Lord, I thank you for the prompting you grant us in so many ways. Please help me in turning over every area of my life to you that I might be a better disciple, husband, father, and leader today.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Praying for Workers
36When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."
~Matthew 9: 36 - 37
~Matthew 9: 36 - 37
What does it mean to look harassed and helpless? What did it look like in the time of Jesus?
I imagine the distressed, frantic look of the people. Harassed by life; continually bombarded by well-placed comments and teachings about the places they didn't measure up.
Whether the feelings are visible or not, are we very far from this in today's world? What is so different? Seems that if we boil it down to the essentials-people are still being harassed by the world-assaulted by the media, by advertising, by competitive co-workers.... Perhaps the saddest thing is our lack of community. At least in the time of Jesus, people were willing to feel distress together-they were willing to go as a crowd-as a community to search out healing.
We are so disconnected, we sit in a plush couch, twenty feet from an unknown neighbor, in a house whose cost would feed a family for years, and receive comfort from an infomercial salesperson who seems to understand what we need. What happened to us? Is progress really worth it? We know it isn't going away, and yet our laziness forces the work on less and less people relative to the job set before us.
Simple request. Ask for workers. Perhaps I'm one of those workers, perhaps my neighbor is. When did I last spent time asking for them? Are we asking for workers from the right source? Self-help and Oprah are just a bit different than the "...God of the harvest..."
Monday, February 4, 2008
A Transformation of Views
16So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
~2 Corinthians 5: 16 - 17
~2 Corinthians 5: 16 - 17
Paul was the man. If my simple life is any indication, I have no doubt Paul's internal dialogs must have been something to behold. To read Paul's words, he undeniably lived AMONG people. His ministry was not something of isolation and quiet prayer for the world on a mountaintop-he got dirty with his work. I have such respect for the man.
Living among people as a witness to our Lord makes the Christian life harder, but our worldly existences also makes living as Christ's witness more real. Every time God's Word takes me past a stumbling block; every time I weep at the realization of answered prayer; every time I am moved past my human limitations of thought and reflection by worship, God gently reminds me I am "...Christ's ambassador..." and my days are measured.
What will I allow to lead me away from God's work today? Why?
Friday, January 25, 2008
More Relationship Reflections
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor,
but a man of understanding holds his tongue.
~Proverbs 11: 12
but a man of understanding holds his tongue.
~Proverbs 11: 12
Derision is a strong word. I would expect that any criticism given out of love or to encourage growth is outside the realms of this directive. Learning how long to hold your tongue is an art. There are people close to me that believe the best help you can give a person is a direct conversation in which shortcomings are discussed. Where exactly does that fit in with this idea? I'm not sure I know.
A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
~Proverbs 11: 13
but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
~Proverbs 11: 13
Secrets are a scary thing. I'm trying to stay away from them, but it seems they are inevitable at times. Is it fair to say that secrets point to unhealthy relationships? Any time I am involved in secrets, the very fact there is a secret prompts questions of trust in those from whom the secret is kept.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Relationship Reflections from Proverbs
The LORD does not let the righteous go hungry
but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.
~Proverbs 10: 3
but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.
~Proverbs 10: 3
Makes me wonder how much of this is set to happen immediately, and how much of this is a statement aligning actions with final judgment. From the passage, it seems the wicked would be hard pressed to have much in the way of food, but we know this isn't always true. However, I have seen illustrated time and again a seemingly built-in willingness to give help to those who are attempting to live righteous lives.
The wise in heart accept commands,
but a chattering fool comes to ruin.
~Proverbs 10: 8
but a chattering fool comes to ruin.
~Proverbs 10: 8
Wisdom really is about shutting up long enough to listen. As I age, I've realized that many of the people I overlooked because of their ability to sit tight and listen are really some of the most effective people I've met. Relationship is impossible without a willingness to listen. I always now a conversation has failed in good relationship when only one party has had the chance to listen.
The man of integrity walks securely,
but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.
~Proverbs 10: 9
but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.
~Proverbs 10: 9
Living without secrets is key to eliminating anxiety. Christ spent a good deal of time encouraging us to bring to light all aspects of our life. The choice of salvation infers that we are giving up self-management. When we try and retain control of sections of our lives, we take away the peace that is one of God's greatest gifts. A confident walk doesn't mean the absence of issues and trouble, but a confident walk can mean the presence of a Savior.
Hatred stirs up dissension,
but love covers over all wrongs.
~Proverbs 10: 12
but love covers over all wrongs.
~Proverbs 10: 12
In an often-quoted passage, we occasionally minimize the impact of the words. Christ's love in my heart is absolutely freeing if I will allow it. The Word doesn't say some wrongs, or most wrongs, it says all wrongs. What would our lives look like if we confidently lived out an understanding that Christ's blood in my life was enough to cover all the bad situations I will ever experience? Remembering that God's love is just, but all-powerful, and gifted to me through His Son is an amazing confidence builder much as verse nine above illustrates.
Monday, January 14, 2008
A Life of Escapes
In reading an article this morning from FamilyLife.com ( a resource I highly recommend), I was prompted to consider all the distractions we willingly submit ourselves to. Whether time is absorbed by TV, extra work, or movies, there seems to be a fine balance between a happy hobby and a small but significant escape from reality.
I have a great friend who guards his alone time quite effectively, but he happens to be a reflective sort, and judging by his relationships, alone time doesn't mean reality-detachment time for him. I'm tempted to think that when we give our time away to distractions, what we're really saying is "I give up." The possibility of trying to better my relationships at this moment is just too overwhelming. Any time I knowingly or unknowingly present this attitude, am I highlighting an important area of my life that I am not submitting to the Lord?
TVs, the internet, books, movies, and scrap booking can all be great things if they are used responsibly-I really don't think I've let myself see all these privileges as needing responsible use. Human nature is readily taking things for granted, and I'm there much of the time. Lord that I would lead my family in seeing the world as priorities, submitting difficult areas to you, and using my blessings as if I understood they are all gifts from you.
I have a great friend who guards his alone time quite effectively, but he happens to be a reflective sort, and judging by his relationships, alone time doesn't mean reality-detachment time for him. I'm tempted to think that when we give our time away to distractions, what we're really saying is "I give up." The possibility of trying to better my relationships at this moment is just too overwhelming. Any time I knowingly or unknowingly present this attitude, am I highlighting an important area of my life that I am not submitting to the Lord?
TVs, the internet, books, movies, and scrap booking can all be great things if they are used responsibly-I really don't think I've let myself see all these privileges as needing responsible use. Human nature is readily taking things for granted, and I'm there much of the time. Lord that I would lead my family in seeing the world as priorities, submitting difficult areas to you, and using my blessings as if I understood they are all gifts from you.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Ancillary Damage
As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.
~Luke 23: 26
~Luke 23: 26
Any person in the process of really deepening their walk with the Lord eventually hits this roadblock in the process. I've experienced it somewhat in the past, but the horizon looks flush with emotional turmoil.
Oswald Chambers has the following to say about this dilemma:
"If we are in love with our Lord, obedience does not cost us anything— it is a delight. But to those who do not love Him, our obedience does cost a great deal. If we obey God, it will mean that other people’s plans are upset."
Ouch, I hurt just thinking about the effect that a major redirection would have on our family and friends. Especially family... But then there is work....
I'm finding that this is another way that we illustrate our faith in stepping out. I think that what ultimately bothers me is the idea that I won't be around in person to pick up every single piece-What kind of a God do I think I'm serving? I need to let go and realize that human plans dropped in lieu of God's work are commonplace and inevitable.
Am I ready to lead us there?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wants and Needs
You can meet your wife's wants yet still miss her needs. That's what the deal is. Your wife doesn't need you to work twelve hours a day. More likely, it's you who "needs" to work that much. You're out there trying to find your identity and establish your worth and value. You're out there for you more than for her. What she needs is for you "to live with her in an understanding way ... since she is a woman"! A little feminine understanding can go a long way in meeting your wife's real needs.
~Robert Lewis and William Hendricks
~Robert Lewis and William Hendricks
What a challenge to get this part figured out. It is so easy to rationalize many of the decisions we make as being necessary for our family. How truly have we compared our rationale against the Bible and against what we, as leaders of our family, know should be the reasons for our actions. I know that I, along with my wife, have adopted societies reasons for much of what we do. Working hard to pay of debt is good to a point, working just as hard so we can have a bigger house and more things is a little harder to rationalize biblically.
Why is it so hard to find this balance in the world we live in? I swear I will make dramatic swings in thought and word almost daily concerning the direction and reasoning behind my actions and the actions of my family. Lord that I would be consistent, confident, and courageous in the message I show and send to the world and my family.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Being a Man Worth Loving
I had the good fortune to read several great articles lately. The articles are part of the resources offered at FamilyLife.org. Like most men (I would venture to say), I struggle with presenting the same passion and characteristics of direction for my family as I do in helping lead change at work.
As I've given though to this phenomenon, I don't think it is happening for lack of care. More than anything, I think I suffer from lack of clearly defined metrics (to put a business box around it). Most of us know that a good plan with well-conceived and realistic milestones is a wonderful way to help drive action steps and success for a project. For men (me at least), I struggle to plan this same way for my family and especially for my wife and our relationship.
Understanding the problem isn't difficult-our marriage is good-our marriage needs to be great. Unfortunately, I'm having some difficulty visualizing a work-plan. As a man, I realize that this difficulty stems from my lack of confidence in the tools I'm working with. While I continually try to be a better man of God, I know that I've not tried hard enough to define what a Godly husband and father looks like. If I would give half the time to reading and studying this that I give to business novels, I might have an easier time of it.
I read two great things today that should help me define this:
Once we prompt ourselves to understand these values, it should be much easier to set our eyes on a Christian vision for our family and passionately lead. People, even our wives, will follow a passion that clearly creates value for them.
As I've given though to this phenomenon, I don't think it is happening for lack of care. More than anything, I think I suffer from lack of clearly defined metrics (to put a business box around it). Most of us know that a good plan with well-conceived and realistic milestones is a wonderful way to help drive action steps and success for a project. For men (me at least), I struggle to plan this same way for my family and especially for my wife and our relationship.
Understanding the problem isn't difficult-our marriage is good-our marriage needs to be great. Unfortunately, I'm having some difficulty visualizing a work-plan. As a man, I realize that this difficulty stems from my lack of confidence in the tools I'm working with. While I continually try to be a better man of God, I know that I've not tried hard enough to define what a Godly husband and father looks like. If I would give half the time to reading and studying this that I give to business novels, I might have an easier time of it.
I read two great things today that should help me define this:
- "The single thing that marks every aspect of Jesus' life was a driving sense of cause. "THIS is who I am, THIS is what I do, THIS is where I am going ... and why don't you come, too? He was a man on a mission. That's what swept strong men along in His wake. That's what persuaded them in a heartbeat to drop their fishing nets or hammers or ledgers or whatever else they were doing and follow Him. Suddenly whatever had preoccupied them seemed pallid and tame and slightly irrelevant. The Man who called them was a burning Reality. A Great Light. How could they help but saddle up and trail along?"
- "McDonald's success as the world leader of fast-food franchises came about because the company became a careful student of the customer. In the same way, one key to thriving in your relationship is to understand your wife. This is not to suggest that you should try to manipulate her. Rather, as you invest time and effort to understand your wife, you'll discover how to define romance using your wife's dictionary. I have to admit that I defined romance for years using my distinctly male dictionary. We men spell romance: sex. However, I've learned when I want to communicate romance with Barbara, I'd better understand how she defines the word! As a husband does this, he understands the three nonnegotiables for a romantically satisfying relationship: security, acceptance, and an emotional connection."
Once we prompt ourselves to understand these values, it should be much easier to set our eyes on a Christian vision for our family and passionately lead. People, even our wives, will follow a passion that clearly creates value for them.
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Romans 12
The voices of our world constantly spin us in disconnected circles. Our entire existence strives toward an ideal of one sort or another.
Where am I going?
Where is my neighbor going?
What is my purpose?
Where am I going?
Where is my neighbor going?
What is my purpose?